Oh, Gregg Doyle. You and your ridiculous mohawk, and your lack of class and intelligence and your gigantic ego.
Doyle, a national sportswriter for CBS (with whom we're quasi-partners, so I should mention that I like Gary Parrish more than most and really enjoy Dennis Dodd), went on 106.7 The Fan with Chad Dukes and Lavar Arrington today, and did nothing but, in the words of Lavar Arrington, hate on Maryland. Audio is here (segment 14). Transcript is below, emphasis is mine.
Doyle: Well first of all, I'd like to start with Maryland, and that would be this, and that would be this: when I see that Kansas is in the region of death and how unfair it is, and I see that Ohio State is the best 2 seed out there, and they probably are, although West Virginia might be, and Georgetown is a great a 3 seed, and that's definitely true. But then I see Maryland as a 4 seed as the ACC regular season champion or co-champion and it's Maryland and that's when my eyes roll back in my head 'cause I wish I was dead, hearing that. Because Maryland is now being mentioned as, as how unfair that is to Kansas to be in the same region with Maryland? Are you kidding me? Maryland's terrible.
Maryland, Maryland will beat Houston probably. Probably they're gonna beat Houston. They're not going another second farther than that and I don't care who's waiting for them in the Round of 32. They're not going any farther than that, and for a lot of reasons, and one of those reasons is this: that unless Gary Williams has crazy talent 1 through 5 at all the positions and off the bench and I saw when he had it with Blake and Dixon and, and Mouton and Baxter. That was a great team. Unless he's got crazy talent that can overcome him being a maniac on the sideline, of course they're gonna choke. And you know why that is? 'Cause their coach chokes 40 minutes a game.
No, no, you ask your players, "Hey, calm down, settle down, relax, don't choke." Meanwhile, the coach is a raving lunatic eyes rolling back in his head like, like mine did when Lavar Arrington jumped offside 12 years ago.
Yeah, I'm not a big Gary Williams fan. The thing is he's a very smart guy - very smart guy - very good coach, X and O coach, very good at all that, and he's very calm when he talks to the media, he's fun to listen to. It's not like "Oh, you just hate Gary Williams." No, I kinda like him. I just hate that he becomes Mr. Hyde after being Dr. Jekyl. He's Mr. Hyde during games, and I hate that, and I think that's why his teams typically aren't very good.
Dukes: Gregg, that's, that's your ACC coach of the year right there. They beat Duke there at the end of the season, that's a big win.
Doyel: That was a big win. This is also the worst year in ACC basketball in about...80 years, let's keep that in mind.
Dukes: Eh, maybe.
Doyel: No, I mean, I mean, he's a good coach. He is a good coach, and over the course of 16 games, they're gonna win more than they lose, because his systems are good and he's, you know, very smart. But when it comes to win or go home, these very clutch...well, how'd they do in the ACC tournament by the way?
Dukes: Well, they didn't win it, that's for certain...so you...
Lavar: They came close though, they lost to GTech.
Dukes: I mean, you...
Doyel: So they lost to that great Georgia Tech juggernaut that everybody thought was a Final Four team?
Lavar: They're in the tournament, hater! Hey, Mr. Doyel, eye roll guy, they're in the tournament too.
And later.
Doyel: [basically says he's awful at brackets, ironically]
Dukes: Well, the good news is that since we are the flagship station of the Maryland Terrapins, at least Greg admitted that his brackets suck after he said that it's possible for Maryland to get bounced in the first round.
Doyel: Well, that's true, my brackets suck - well, no, Maryland's gonna win the first round, they are in my bracket, but you are the Maryland flagship station, so it's important to say that while my brackets suck my ability to judge human beings is really good. And Gary Williams is a raving lunatic. Insanity. I mean, the guy - if he wasn't coaching basketball, he'd be locked up somewhere.
Was he being facetious? At the end, probably. Everywhere else? Nope.
I'll let you guys have at him.