Last night Maryland lost a basketball game to a bad North Carolina State team without not only their best player, but arguably their only good player. It is easy to blame the Maryland coaches or the players for this devastating, soul-sucking, why-do-I-even-care-about-sports inducing loss, but that would be shortsighted and wrong. The reason they lost the game is because of me and things I twote.

It all started at 8:49 pm, about 10 minutes before tip-off when our dear friend Alex Prewitt reported that ACC leading scorer TJ Warren would not play. To this news I snarkily tweeted:

It was a joke, but not really. In the days leading up to this game I felt pretty good about Maryland's chances versus a bad and beaten down State team, but once I saw their best player was hurt, out of freaking nowhere, 10 minutes before the start of the game, I had a very bad feeling deep in my soul.

Then it got worse.

People on Twitter were talking about how bench bro Ralston Turner would take Warren's place in the starting lineup. Immediately upon seeing that, I twote:

What transpired? Turner scored a career-high 23 points in 35 minutes, including five three-pointers. He was the only player on the team to hit a single three. State won almost single handedly because of Ralston Freaking Turner.

It has become clear to me that I am the host to a dark curse in which I can see Maryland sports catastrophe before it happens. Perhaps, dare I say, I am the conduit for The Darkness. Now I must rid myself of it.

First, in order to push out The Darkness, I have to scare it away with Light. How? Watching each of these three times, only three times, and in reverse chronological order.

Next, I must fill the space The Darkness inhabited, so it has nowhere to return. I must fill it with pure, weapons-grade Maryland Pride. A potion.

Natty Boh + Old Bay + Lump Crap Meat + Maryland Mug


Yes, I drank it. It didn't taste great, but curse-breakin' ain't easy.

Did my fool-proof plan work? Only time will tell. Until then, I am sorry Terp Nation.

Anything deemed inappropriate will be deleted by an admin or moderator with the power to do so. The views of the above FanPost do not represent the beliefs of Testudo Times or Testudo Times' authors, nor are they the work of them.

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